Additional Titles


A former homosexual speaks out about homosexuality
and the politics of dishonesty


By Richard Weller

March 28, 2002


When I was 17 years old I was recruited into the gay lifestyle by an older homosexual man. Like so many young people who get drawn into homosexuality, I was lonely, naive and vulnerable. My father was an alcoholic. My self-esteem was very low. I was easy prey for anyone who was willing to exploit my need for a fathers love. 

It started as a conversation in a Greyhound Bus Depot, and ended eleven years and six homosexual relationships later. 

I tried imitating others when they said they were born gay, I would say "me too"! It seemed an easy way to get people to accept us. If we were born gay that took away any personal responsibility for our behavior and made people feel sorry for us. All along though, we knew it was a convenient lie. 

I love and respect myself today, but I hate the things that I used to do. Homosexual sexuality is perverse and unhealthy, both physically and emotionally. We put on such a respectable image, but inside we were miserable and ashamed. Like many young gays, I tried to commit suicide because I didn't think there was a way out. 

Today I am living proof that homosexuals can and do change. I was as deep in the lifestyle as anyone. I spent nine years with my piano teacher and even thought about getting "married." I was 100% gay, now I am 100% recovered from that sick and twisted life. They call it "gay", but I wasn't gay at all, I was miserable. I can't think of a more miserable way of life. 

Some people believe that compassion for homosexuals means approving of their lifestyle, but I thank God that others still have the guts to insist that it's wrong, otherwise I might still be trapped. Every time I hear someone talk approvingly of homosexuality, or see them go along  with the idea of "gay rights" it breaks my heart, because I know it's like slamming the escape door on so many. It is especially painful to watch the radical gays manipulate their own parents and relatives into endorsing the gay political agenda. 

Though I am 46 years old now, and I left the "gay life" when I was 29, the media "spin" on homosexuality makes me feel that I can't stay silent anymore! It's time for someone who knows the real truth from the "inside" to step forward and tell it like it is. I am just one of many ex-gays in Oregon. Perhaps if I speak up, they will overcome their fears and do likewise.

I support, and am very concerned about Lon Mabon, of our Oregon Citizens Alliance. He has been in jail now for over 35 days, partly for not paying a judgment against the OCA incurred by a lesbian rights activist. Lon has challenged the judges oath and was thrown into jail for civil contempt. The gay rights activist claims that harm was done to her when she was forced to leave an OCA meeting. The criminal trespass issue was not allowed to be brought up in court. The judge was biased.

When I needed help, Lon Mabon and the OCA were there for me. Lon never judged or hated me, instead, he helped me. I came to them because of a measure they were supporting to stop a minority classification for homosexuality. There was a lot of media attention given to this issue. From my own personal experience I new that the OCA was defending the truth, while the opposition was very dishonest. I was still struggling with depression and fear because of my past, and trying to stop two "gay" pedophiles that I knew were molesting boys. 

The people at the OCA were very helpful with literature, and a video about the root causes of homosexuality. The video had a pastor talking about similarities in the childhood of many homosexuals and gender identity confusion. It was all a revelation to me, and I had to fight back tears while watching it. I came to realize that I had a deep need for a father/son relationship which drew me into what I now call the gay "death"-style. Keep in mind that it is very important that a boy bond with his father when he is three years old, and start to identify with men. The mother must give the boy to his father! (This prevents gender identity confusion) 

Here are a few of the many things that homosexuals have in common from their childhood. An absentee or abusive father. (In my case too, I hated the way he treated my mother - and many times wanted to run away from home) A dad that abuses drugs or alcohol, or a has a sexual problem. (i.e. infidelity, adultery) Or a step-father they did not bond with. There are many that had a domineering willful mother, and a weak passive wimpy approval seeking father. Acquaintances with this background tell me that people say to them "you're just like your mother!" It is painful, but educational, to listen to the testimonies. Some say "mom was still giving me a bath when I was 8 years old." Or "I was still sleeping with mom when I was 10 years old." This kind of thing is becoming more common as there are many single mothers raising sons. It is important for everyone to know what sexual predators are looking for, because we can help kids to be "recruit-proof."

The recent revelations about the boys molested by Catholic homosexual priests is cause for alarm and had the Catholic hierarchy not covered up for these deviant priests, many future abuse cases could have been prevented saving the church millions in lawsuits which have already been settled and future lawsuits yet to be filed.

I will forever be grateful to Lon Mabon and the Oregon Citizens Alliance. It could be any one of us who finds the courage to stand up against the political agenda of homosexuals that could be thrown in jail, like Mr. Mabon. People, please understand, THE ISSUE IS CHILD PROTECTION. While collecting signatures on OCA petitions, I carried a sign that had "protect children from homosexuality" written on it. Nothing made the gays and lesbians more angry! Why?! Do they want kids to experiment with dangerous and unhealthy behavior? I can tell you from my own personal experience, the truth is not in them. 

Please, do not misunderstand me. If you are gay, or you know someone that is, don't give up hope! There are many ex-gays like myself who would like to help. 

Recommended resource: 7 Steps to Recruit-Proof Your Child by Scott Lively. ( We must face the truth! Gays recruit! (As always, not all gays) All Rights Reserved 

Richard Weller is an accomplished pianist and has worked many years around Portland, Oregon as a landscaper, security guard, and certified nurses aid. He is currently a full time caregiver. He would appreciate your comments or questions at his E-mail address.

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