Additional Titles








Jesus Has Left the Building








Grants Pass




By Lee Duigon
October 20, 2011

When it comes to addressing America’s problems, the AARP takes the cake for the most fatuous suggestion of the year.

In an editorial entitled “Small Steps, Big Dividends” (Oct. 2011, Vol. 52, No. 8), the editors of The AARP Bulletin begin by bewailing our $14.3 trillion national debt and finish by offering the following suggestion:

Give Uncle Sam a gift. Others do. Taxpayers’ gifts to the U.S. Treasury so far this year total $2,429,800.03.” Don’t even ask who gave the 3 cents.

With a population of about 300 million, some $2.5 million in gifts comes out to roughly $120 per person. To pay off the national debt in $120 increments would require almost 120 billion checks. Each and every one of us is in hock for almost $48,000, so every man, woman, and child in the USA would have to send in about 400 of those $120 checks—give or take 3 cents.

But enough of numbers. The AARP is the most flamingly partisan outfit in the country, possibly the very last of the genuine Obama groupies. These poor souls still get a thrill up the leg every time the Stepford President reads something off the teleprompter. We must not expect from them anything much better than mere silliness. But even for them, “Give Uncle Sam a gift” is outstandingly asinine.

If there is anyone on the face of the earth who has already been given way too much of our money, it’s good ol’ Uncle Sam. It’d be like giving money to a heroin addict. His insatiable lust for our money is exceeded only by the astoundingly wasteful and wicked uses to which he puts it.

How many of those $8.00 checks would it take to cover the Worst Lady’s little jaunt to Spain with 75 of her closest friends? How much of our money goes up in smoke every time Dear Leader gets a yen for Kobe beef at $150 a pound—with flowers flown in from Hawaii? But of course the presidential pair has only spent mere millions of our money on entertaining themselves.

They blew away $500 million of it on a “green,” as in “greenback,” energy company in California, Solyndra, that went belly-up bankrupt after making the half a billion dollars disappear. Company officers are answering Congress’ questions about it by pleading the Fifth Amendment. Maybe you could send them a check, too.

Some of your gift may have helped fund “Operation Fast and Furious,” a Justice [sic] Dept. scheme to arm Mexican drug gangs with American weapons. Why? Who knows—maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time. The gangsters have been killing people with those weapons, but Attorney General Eric Holder says he knows nothing at all about it, not a blessed thing. But he has broken Janet Reno’s record for most people killed by a United States attorney general.

Meanwhile, don’t forget the various public employees’ unions, who by their massive donations to Democrat political campaigns constitute a virtual branch of government—especially the teachers in the National Education Association. True, you’re already paying them handsomely through your property taxes; but don’t forget the immense sums devoted to federal aid to “education.” Yes, the teachers make several times the money you make, and you’ll die as a Wal-Mart greeter while a teacher of the same age will already have been retired, and going on Caribbean cruises and European tours, for some twenty years. They get every summer off, and to be fired for cause, they practically have to shoot someone. Don’t you think they deserve even more of your money? If you can’t bring yourself to write a check to Uncle Sam, why not write one to the teachers’ union?

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Don’t forget those wonderful trillion-dollar stimulus programs—it’s truly magical, the way our government can make a trillion dollars disappear without a trace—not to mention such marvels as Obamacare, death panels, National LGBT-whatever Month, and Styrofoam Greek pillars. Just think how much more we’d get, if we gave them even more money! I don’t know about you, but I’m reaching for my checkbook now—to hide it someplace where they’ll never find it.

We hereby nominate the AARP editorial staff as Clueless Chuckleheads of the Year. In a profession distinguished for its mindless devotion to the Democrat Party and for drooling, reflex-action statism, the AARP stands out as a gleaming jewel of idiocy.

We wonder how eager they were to “give a gift to Uncle Sam” when George W. Bush was president.

Personally, I plan to give my country a priceless gift next fall—a vote for whoever is running against Obama.

� 2011 Lee Duigon - All Rights Reserved

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Lee Duigon, a contributing editor with the Chalcedon Foundation, is a former newspaper reporter and editor, small businessman, teacher, and horror novelist. He has been married to his wife, Patricia, for 34 years. See his new fantasy/adventure novels, Bell Mountain and The Cellar Beneath the Cellar, available on











We hereby nominate the AARP editorial staff as Clueless Chuckleheads of the Year.