MY MEDICAL CONDITION I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU ABOUT (SATIRE)
By Ed Tazelaar
June 21, 2009
Because I am long in the tooth and I am walking into the sunset of my life, I decided to tell you about an illness I have been hiding from you.
My doctor diagnosed it as “Barackaritis” which affects both Democrats & Republicans, but especially Conservatives. Liberals are immune to the disease. This condition started about five months ago, and symptoms began by watching too much cable TV, CNN, FOX & MSN news shows.
include insomnia, nightmares, chills and fever due to worry about my
country’s economy and safety of its citizens.
I’ve noticed a sudden desire to spend millions, no billions, of other peoples dollars faster than a drunken sailor who just won a Powerball lottery. Another symptom is a desire to drink TEA
and hum Yankee Doodle Dandy.
My emotions have become unstable due to excessive worry over my retirement income being wasted, and my children's inheritance being given to people who refuse to work.
times I have had grandiose delusions of being the messiah, and that
religion is a hindrance to living a good life. Other delusions prevail
over my deluded mind that Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance…
at least that is what our President believes.
Due to this malady, I now have sympathy for criminals, abortionists, illegals, welfare recipients, pedaphiles, and other victims of our decadent society that people are dying to come to.
And to think that I used to believe that our Country was built upon Judeo-Christian values by our Founding Fathers, is now a myth, nay, a fairy tale, based upon those right wing extremists who are now classified as terrorists by our Homeland Security.
If you suffer from this disease. you will notice that your skin itches for CHANGE; that Congress and Senate will stop lying to the people, and start being TRANSPARENT.
There is no known cure for this sickness except a new election without the help of ACORN. I keep praying that this will go away but As long as you give working peoples money to those who won’t work, IT WILL GO ON FOREVER....
If someone could just come up With a vaccine for "Barackaritis" they could make a lot of money, but Obamacare would just take it away.
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Looking on the bright side of my disease, one suffering from these symptoms does not need a valid original birth certificate, just charisma, a big smile, a teleprompter, and George Soros' billions.
© 2009 - Ed Tazelaar - All Rights Reserved