I have written many times about the fact that corporate Christianity worships Communist world government traitor Jorge W. Boosh, our first “Latino” President. If corporate Christianity gets any hint that you do not, it is quite likely to call down the fires of Lenin upon you. You could even wind up out on the street.
I do not exaggerate. In some of these celebrity churches, el presidente’s name is spoken almost as reverently as the name of Jesus, and emerods be upon you if you say something else. Which recalls the fact that in Nazi Germany some high church leaders actually wore Nazi uniforms and heiled each other in the name of Hitler at high church meetings.
What do I mean by “corporate Christianity?” I mean the mega-churches and groups, often associated with the name of a man, whose name could even appear in big letters on the side of the meeting-hall. I mean the prosperity place, where you go not so much to worship and celebrate Jesus as to perfect your own purpose, the smiley place where Satan is hardly ever mentioned, with the inevitable result that evil is so hard to recognize.
I mean the vast institutions that claim to be constructively involved in the “political process” but that do less than nothing to preserve our God-ordained system by opposing the schemes that are trying to destroy it. Correct me if I am wrong – maybe I missed it – but so far at least I have not seen the firestorm I expected from the mega-churches about Miller Beer’s sponsorship of the queer version of Da Vinci’s Last Supper at the recent Faggot Fest in San Franfreako.
The Faggot Fest included nude men on parade. Lest I be accused of exaggeration, I should mention that they were wearing sneakers and sun glasses. Some of them gave each other joe blobs. Yes, in public. Miller may be trying to compete with Pete Coors’s Queer Beer. Remember that Pete hired Mary Cheney, the world’s most famous dyke, and daughter of Dick, to be his liaison to the queer community, and Mary did a superlative job distributing Queers largesse; she traveled the country for Coors with the winner of the International Mr. Leather competition. (Don’t ask.) See my new book, Not Holier Than Thou for details.
Wouldn’t you expect at the very least that celebrity Christians would be all over the television and talk networks denouncing this abomination? Wouldn’t you expect thunder in the mega-pulpits? What about a new national campaign: Don’t Drink Miller Queer! Consider it launched here, but of course I am not a church, and I didn’t drink Miller Queer anyway. We don’t need to consider what would happen were some patriots to celebrate Christianity with a tableau that includes Muhammad as a pig.
And now comes the latest revelation. The corporate Christians recently met in Salt Lake. Mitt Romney was in town, no surprise. Did he attend? I don’t know. We know that Dr. James Dobson did. Dr. Dobson recently said he could never support Rudy Giuliani. So far so good. Remember that Rudy is a cross-dresser and wears a brassiere. The Giuliani campaign won’t tell me his size. To see him in drag, and for proof that he is prettier than Hillaroid, go to Not Holier Than Thou.
But the Christian nabobs there assembled announced that they cannot find a Republican to support. They can’t support Fred Thompson either. Fred too has unchristian issues. But take heart. Another name did emerge. He is – the envelope please – Foster Friess. Who? Foster Friess. You remember Foster. Foster Friess of Jackson, Wyoming! Foster is said to be a billionaire investor and a big Republican contributor and philanthropist. What a guy!
He may be all these things and more; he may be a staunch Christian and a man from whom we can learn much. The trouble is that until this morning I had never heard his name and by dint of diligent study I am somewhat well informed. This probably means that the only people who did know Foster existed before this morning were – obviously – Mrs. Friess, God bless her, and the Friess kiddos, and of course the people Foster invests with.
This is the man James Dobson and other celebrity Christians are allegedly thinking of as their third party candidate for President next year. What does this tell you? If true – and I am praying it is not – if true it tells me that Dobson & Co. (1) either have gone completely crazy, or (2) they are too stupid or ignorant to warrant attention, or (3) they know exactly what they are doing and are deliberately trying to destroy any chance we have to save America.
There is no fourth possibility. We can be absolutely sure of this because there is still more proof that nails it down. We can see the devastating truth not in what the celebrity Christian nabobs said in Salt Lake, but in what they did not say. What did they not say? They made no reference whatsoever to “Dr. No,” Congressman Ron Paul.
Consider Ron Paul. To find out where every other candidate stands on an issue, you must analyze the people and groups who support him, where his money comes from, where he comes from, who is making the most noise, etc. Not so with Dr. No. Most of the time, you don’t even need to ask Ron where he stands on an issue. All you need do is consult the Constitution. Whatever it says is where Ron will stand, regardless of where his money comes from, who makes the most noise, etc.
Ron is the only Member of Congress I know of who refuses to take the lucrative retirement money to which he is entitled. He is so straight an arrow he makes the mathematical concept of a straight line look like the afterdeck of a hula dancer. Remember that I know Ron Paul personally for more than twenty five years and by now have been with him many times.
Ron is intensely boring. There is no scandal. There are no men’s room incidents. Ron routinely goes home to wife Carol, a woman, a quintessential grandmother whom the normal man feels an irresistible compulsion to hug. Try it. It’s fun. On the other hand, Ron is nowhere near as funny as Calvin Coolidge. He is just what he says he is. There is nothing to expose. My guess is that no movie of Ron’s life could be made; no one could play him and there could be no script.
So, yes, Dr. No is intensely boring except – except – except for his electrifying ideas. He makes it possible to believe that the battle for America can be won, that the Constitution can be reactivated, that the unalienable right to mind our own business still lives, that you can keep your whole paycheck, that we can restore honest money. That is why so many young people support him – a man almost as aged as your reporter – and why he is winning so many straw polls.
Pundits are now making much of the fact that Ron raised more than a million dollars in less than a week. In fact, now comes word that in the third quarter of the year, he raised an incredible $5 million. That amount means much more than it would to any other candidate, because the other candidates must pay people to do things, which is a big expense in a political campaign.
Ron’s people do what must be done for nothing, for the joy of doing it. Much of the time, Ron doesn’t even need to ask them to do it. He is just the instrument they have coalesced around to get what they want. That is why, wherever the other candidates go, they find the place teeming with Ron Raiders.
Finally, Ron Paul is a staunch, lifelong Christian. He is not a celebrity Christian. He is not in your face. But he is a true Christian. He staunchly opposes abortion, an incendiary hot button to corporate Christianity. He is a ladies’ doctor and has delivered thousands of babies. He has never killed a baby. One would imagine that Dr. No is the perfect candidate for the country’s Christian leaders, the candidate God would give them were He to let them write down the qualities they want. But, if you thought that, Pilgrim, you would be totally wrong.
I would not complain at all were Dobson & Co. to consider Ron as a candidate and then state a list of reasons to reject him. Obviously I would disagree, but such a course would be fair comment. But what we have here is the inordinately suspicious fact that the Dobson Company has not considered Ron at all. Apparently, his name did not come up. The nation’s Christian leaders are pretending Dr. Paul does not exist, somewhat akin to the pretense that Godzilla is not coming from the sea.
Again, I consider this lapse extremely suspicious. Corporate Christianity has long proven itself to be as useless as jugs on a boar. Is the truth even worse than we thought? Again, Jorge W. Boosh is collaborating with Hillaroid. If Dobson & Company go third party with old Foster or Dumb and Dumber, whoever they turn out to be, they would split the Republicans and hand her the White House despite the enormous antipathy she always inspires. Is this the plan? Yes, it’s a breathtaking question, but I can’t believe that Dobson could be so dumb.
Whatever the motive, would the rank and file believers in the celebrity Christian monoliths fall for it? Of course they would. If Dobson & Co. tell them this is what Jorge wants, you will see the Boosh zombies staggering from the meeting halls to the voting booths on Election Day to do it, as in George A. Romero’s classic, “Dawn of the Dead.” This is the inevitable result of worshipping a man. So it looks as if we must do the job without “Christian” support.
“yes” to “No.”
© 2007 - Alan Stang - All Rights Reserved
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Alan Stang was one of Mike Wallace’s original writers at Channel 13 in New York, where he wrote some of the scripts that sent Mike to CBS. Stang has been a radio talk show host himself. In Los Angeles, he went head to head nightly with Larry King, and, according to Arbitron, had almost twice as many listeners. He has been a foreign correspondent. He has written hundreds of feature magazine articles in national magazines and some fifteen books, for which he has won many awards, including a citation from the Pennsylvania House of Representatives for journalistic excellence. One of Stang’s exposés stopped a criminal attempt to seize control of New Mexico, where a gang seized a court house, held a judge hostage and killed a deputy. The scheme was close to success before Stang intervened. Another Stang exposé inspired major reforms in federal labor legislation.
His first book, It’s Very Simple: The True Story of Civil Rights, was an instant best-seller. His first novel, The Highest Virtue, set in the Russian Revolution, won smashing reviews and five stars, top rating, from the West Coast Review of Books, which gave five stars in only one per cent of its reviews.
Stang has lectured in every American state and around the world and has guested on many top shows, including CNN’s Cross Fire. Because he and his wife had the most kids in Santo Domingo, the Dominican Republic, where they lived at the time, the entire family was chosen to be actors in “Havana,” directed by Sydney Pollack and starring Robert Redford, the most expensive movie ever made (at the time). Alan Stang is the man in the ridiculous Harry Truman shirt with the pasted-down hair. He says they made him do it.
Whatever the motive, would the rank and file believers in the celebrity Christian monoliths fall for it? Of course they would. If Dobson & Co. tell them this is what Jorge wants, you will see the Boosh zombies staggering from the meeting halls to the voting booths on Election Day to do it...