by Marc H. Rudov
September 7, 2010
few weeks ago, a 28-year-old woman lamented to me that she consistently
encounters “losers” in her dating experiences. Upon probing
further, I discovered the reason: she has equaliphobia.
the fear of equality. Why would anyone fear equality? Simple:
equality strips a relationship’s participants of power and control,
pillars of the gender war. With rare exception, people begin jockeying
for power and control on the first date and, when children are involved,
continue this inane battle after divorce.
is the point of dating without games? How do you know if you’re
winning or losing?” -Jerry
Seinfeld Seinfeld: Episode #91, “The Couch”
usual rationalization for equaliphobia is that men and women simply
aren’t equal because: 1) men are stronger than women; 2)
men outearn women.
the US Constitution mentions nothing about muscles, paychecks, or women
— only equal treatment to all by the legislative, judicial, and
executive branches of government. It does not guarantee equal
jobs, pay, houses, health, wealth, or education — no
special deals for specific individuals, classes of individuals, industries,
companies, or states.
most males in government are equaliphobic, responsible for passing,
enforcing, and adjudicating misandrist laws, perpetuating the gender
Obama told NBC News that, when it comes to women, “men
are still a little obtuse about this stuff … and need to be knocked
across the head every once in a while.” Priceless.
And, during gut-wrenching protests against building the Ground Zero
Mosque, Barack Obama invoked his disingenuous belief in equal rights,
as seen in the video below. He’s the same guy who seeks to penalize
achievers and transparently
kowtows to women in his social policies.
if one man can benchpress more than the next, does the weaker man have
more rights than the first man? Of course not. And, what about a woman
with a black belt in karate who can kick the asses of most men? Do her
potential male targets have more rights than she? You answer that one.
if one man outearns another man doing the same work — which
happens all the time — does the lower-paid man have more
rights than the first? No, again. I think you’re getting the picture.
In fact, equaliphobia is based not in logic or reason but in the insecure
need for power and control.
Coddle, and Tolerate Hypocrisy
28-year-old above had complained that men call her too last-minute for
dates. Naturally, I queried her: Why are you passively awaiting their
calls? Why don’t you call them? “Call men? I don’t
have to call men; they come to me!” she disdainfully
snorted from her pedestal, feeling superior. Ironically, an air of superiority
is always a mask for a feeling of inferiority.
Millennial child is a product of the “feminist” era. Fairness
rules, right? Nonsense! Women are capitalists at work and socialists
in their social lives — lovers of special entitlements
and wealth redistribution from men to themselves. She’s no exception.
Only eunuchs would subject themselves to her conceit and condescension,
and they do. Equaliphobia is self-fulfilling.
fear equality because they’re untrained to handle it and also
fret that it will subvert their sexual aspirations. Besides, they rarely
meet women who want to be peers. Moreover, society tells them that masculinity
derives from protecting and providing for women, notwithstanding that
women earn 50% more college degrees than they. Worse, as boys, they
learned to defer, coddle, and tolerate hypocrisy — the antithesis
of equality — as ways to deal with females.
fear equality because they rue losing entitlements — free
drinks and unconstitutional rights in reproduction, rape,
child custody, and domestic violence. By observing their mothers, movies,
and TV, young girls learn to amass a quiver of “inequality”
arrows, such as cleavage, tears, tantrums, 911 calls, rape threats,
victimhood, sex, and babies.
Men Don’t Buy Sex
in a world of equality, is the result of charm and personality, mutual
attraction, and zero manipulation — like a four-leaf clover,
rarely seen. Minus games and deceit, most folks are lost and uncomfortable.
That’s why eunuchs typically rely on cash, booze, and groveling
— the sad hope of “getting lucky” — for sex,
while merchant maureens dig for gold, making most dating and marriage
Society, in general,
suffers from equaliphobia and cannot tolerate women going the extra
mile for men. When Renee Zellweger recently fetched coffee for herself
and beau Bradley Cooper from an LA Starbucks, while he waited in the
car, Britain’s Daily Mail had to make
a big deal of it. Why? How dare she lift a finger —
and a wallet — for him! A princess must sit on her throne while
male subjects serve her. Brad and Renee must be clueless.
In The Big Picture: The New Logic of Money and Power in Hollywood,
author Edward Jay Epstein describes eunuchs in the movie business:
founder of what became Seagram’s, asked his son Edgar, who had
just bought $40M worth of MGM stock: “Are we buying all this
stock in MGM just so you can get laid?”
financier Giancarlo Parretti bought MGM for $1.6B and told Alan Ladd
Jr., the studio’s head, “You just make the films; I want
to make the actresses.”
went bankrupt, French bank Credit Lyonnais took over MGM. In handling
this takeover, California Superior Court judge Irving Shimer opined
that the bankers who had lent MGM money weren’t “interested
in making movies. They were interested in getting girls… That’s
why bankers come to Hollywood.”
these “moguls” have so much going for them, are such powerful
men, why do they feel the need to purchase merchant maureens? Answer:
an air of superiority is always a mask for a feeling of inferiority.
Real men don’t buy sex — ever. Real women are not for
sale or rent — ever.
NoNonsense Bottom Line
your first lesson in algebra, which holds that two kinds of relationships
exist in nature: equal to and not equal to. When two
entities are unequal, one is, by definition, greater than the
second — meaning, by default, that the second is less than
if your relationship is not based on equality, and you believe that
it cannot be based on equality — because males and females, according
to your philosophy, aren’t equal — I have three questions:
Which one of you is greater than the other?
2- Who decided that?
3- How does this imbalance affect your sex life?
H. Rudov, The NoNonsense Man®, is a globally known radio/TV personality,
relationship coach, speaker, and author of 125+ articles and Under the
Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper
Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide
to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719),
and a forthcoming book for women. The 2008 recipient of the National
Coalition of Free Men’s “Award for Excellence in Promoting
Gender Fairness In The Media,” Mr. Rudov is a frequent guest on
Fox News Channel’s The O’Reilly Factor and Your World with