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The Defenition
of Insanity

Big Brother Comes
To Wal-Mart

Welcome to the

Seat Belts,
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S.A.R.S. Simply Another
Ridiculous Scam

Why N.C. National Guardsman Daniel Moody Didn't Get
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Big-Time Spooky

So Much Sewage








By Mary Starrett
4, 2004

Well, not funny, �ha ha� but funny, as in odd, ironic, downright absurd. I�ve been noticing how �funny� stuff�s been happening and with greater frequency lately.

Like why the first order of business under the category �Bringing Freedom and �Democracy�� to countries we get a mind to �liberate� includes shutting down newspapers and grabbing guns. The U.S. military closed down a newspaper in Iraq (for printing �lies�) and confiscated weapons in door-to-door searches in Haiti. If that�s bringing �freedom and democracy� to nations, we should ask the question then- WWSD (What Would Stalin Do?) Protections that were heretofore guaranteed at home- like freedom of speech and the right to keep and bear arms are not only being eroded here but summarily dispensed with in the countries we go in and occupy.

But, you say, those countries are filled with lunatics who can�t be TRUSTED with printing presses and guns. Careful, that�s what some are coming dangerously close to saying about Americans.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia says he�s not about to beg off his participation in the case against Dick Cheney and the secret White House Energy meetings just because he and the Vice Prez were on a duck hunting trip together. No conflict there. When was the last time you spent several days traveling with and socializing with someone you might have to throw the book at? I contend it can�t be done. Human nature is such that bonds are formed and those bonds are hard to break even when questions of malfeasance and political impropriety are concerned.

Door To Door Service:
Here�s one that doesn�t pass the straight face test- how the U.S. government is dealing with illegals who make it across the border from Mexico. Instead of arresting, then deporting them, they�re being flown from Arizona (where 40% of the illegals cross over) to Texas border towns, then brought back to their home towns in Mexico. The cost to fly one illegal from Arizona to Texas is $28,000. That�s right- from Arizona to Texas and back costs $28,000. This �repatriation� program is nothing new. Plans like this have been implemented for over a decade. This one, however is designed to �explore ways to return Mexican immigrants� to aid and guide (them) to their homes�.[1]

Funny, huh?

This, under a �conservative� Republican president. Can you imagine what a Liberal would do? Perhaps make mandatory quartering for an �undocumented migrant� in YOUR home? Funny.

Pharmaceutical companies have already decided what flu strains they�ll make vaccines for in preparation for next year�s flu season. Never mind that the vaccine they manufactured for last years� �epidemic� didn�t even contain protection for the virus it was supposed to target. This, after last years� hysterical media blitz aimed at convincing Americans that - at all cost - they should find a way to get their shots! If the past is prologue I�m not going out on a limb to make a prediction here - the hysteria will ratchet up about August. News anchors will start the dire warnings, and people will get - at best worthless - at worst dangerous shots for strains of �flu�. Here�s what the World Health Organization and the Food and Drug Administration are recommending for next year�s flu season: �Next season�s vaccines for the U.S. are expected to include the Fujian strain (replacing) the A/Moscow (strain)�. Next season�s vaccine will also �substitute the B/Shanghai strain for the B/Hong Kong strain included this season�the new vaccine will still include the A/New Caledonia strain�. [2]

Got that?

Funny, all I get out of all this is just how much money the pharma-giants will make from gullible Americans.

While the government�s busy warning us about the dangers of not getting our updated flu shots each year, we�re also hearing the Nanny State�s increasingly shrill caveats about diet supplements (the FDA just sent out warnings to internet supplement companies warning them about promoting weight loss products).

The feds are also concerned some of us might take a steroid like andro (made famous by baseball�s Mark McGwire). In fact, even the president�s up nights worrying about this. George W. Bush included a steroid warning in his State of the Union address. As if finding those Weapons of Mass Destruction wasn�t worrisome enough. I wonder why we never hear the government warn us about the dangers of prescription drugs. Over 100,000 people a year die from the side effects of drugs approved by the government and prescribed by licensed medical professionals. And those 100,000 are just those who succumb in hospitals. The recent �warning� about putting those who take antidepressants on suicide watch was a joke. For years there�s been proof of the link between these drugs and suicide ideation, implementation and violence against others. But this, after years and years warrants not a bona fide banning of these products but a �warning�? Meanwhile just make sure you don�t take any diet supplements which might make false claims. Funny.

And here�s another side-splitter: The FDA has approved over 15 studies whereby paramedics can test an artificial blood substitute on you should you become severely injured in an accident. And they don�t even need your consent. The product is called Polyheme and it replaces another blood substitute used (without consent) on patients for years. They stopped using the earlier compound after 20 people died after getting it. Hilarious!

Speaking of blood, did you hear the one about the students at Western Oregon University who launched a protest to ban the Red Cross blood drives? They claim the donor-screening process discriminates against gays. They really got upset about the question �have you had sex with another man in the last 20 years�?. Imagine.

Oh, I could go on and on but I must stop now. I�ve been doubled over laughing so hard I can�t even get into the knee slapper about �..


[1]Arizona Republic/ February 21, 2004 [2]New York Times/ L. Altman

� 2004 Mary Starrett - All Rights Reserved

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Mary Starrett was on television for 21 years as a news anchor, morning talk show host and medical reporter. For the last 5 years she hosted a radio program. Mary is a frequent guest on radio talk shows. E-Mail [email protected]








"The cost to fly one illegal from Arizona to Texas is $28,000. That�s right- from Arizona to Texas and back costs $28,000."