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Victim or Volunteer?









By Lauren Lane
September 12
, 2013

Everyone lies. Let's face it. There is not one person (ok, maybe one- but we know what they did to him) who has lived a life free from deceit of some form.

As small children we are designed to try on different hats (so to speak), outgrow them and hopefully through good parental direction, patience and love- ‘choose' to be upright people.

Lying happens for a variety of reasons. We lie because we are scared. We think the truth will "hurt someone's feelings" or it might cause someone pain. We call that a "good lie"-we believe it is always for the other persons own good and in their best interest.

Then there is the little white lie. That one is really interesting. When growing up my mom would have us lie at the movie theater and say we were younger then we were to save $1.00-$2.00 on our admission. Really mom? Our dad was a police officer and mom didn't just tell little white lies, she told the grey ones too.

We lie to our kids to make life "more fun" and to make fantasy 'true,' and that seems harmless too. Sure, we all knew there was an easter bunny, Santa Clause, and tooth fairy.

As parents, we go to great lengths to make these "fun lies" seem real. I remember realizing one day that there was no easter bunny and I confronted my mom . Mom insisted he was real, plus elaborating that he was invisible too. She told me that he had just slipped through the screen door, (while I was sitting on the porch) and then conveniently put a Easter basket in my room. I felt a touch of crazy as she reiterated he was real.

Then, last but not least is the "necessary lie", the "justifiable lie", and the lie we believe is the acceptable truth. After all if Aunt Sue knew she was terminally ill, she wouldn't be as carefree, and if you knew the real wholesale price, you might not buy this car from me, and then my kids won't eat if I don't make this car sale.

There are lies that are "in the best interest of others" and just about every lie has a basis in the necessity of telling it.

Most lies and "fabrications" are told to avoid trouble or to gain an advantage of some sort. Avoiding confrontation is something we learn to do very early on.

All of us remember the famous story our elementary teacher told us about George Washington who said, "Father, I cannot tell a lie, it was I who cut down the cherry tree". At least that is what my 3rd grade teacher told me in the sixties. And of course the biggest lie of all was the original lie that started the decline of morals in the garden of Eden, where a serpent of deception tells a naive and susceptible woman that God lied, and she would not really die if she ate a forbidden fruit.

How many times a day do you take a bite of that apple?

Remember the comedy staring Jim Carey, called "liar, liar - where Carey had to go for 24 hours without telling a lie? As children we might have exaggerated to feel important and to gain acceptance. As adults we embellish the truth to again be accepted, impress our boss, co-workers, potential mate or again to avoid confrontation.

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Then, for some odd reason we act so surprised when our elected officials, or the health industry or the retailer next door is caught with their hand in the cookie jar. We have almost become to accept lying as a way of life. However, there is only one way out of this lying game. That is to commit to telling the truth.

Often, you are leading by example and effecting more eyes and ears then you know. So next time the dog eats your homework, you get a flat tire, run out of gas, have a convenient "death in the family" or just feel the need to be more-, remember that a guppy often turns into a whale and the mighty oak tree once started out as a little nut.

Lauren Lane can be reached at:

© 2013 Lauren Lane - All Rights Reserved

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Lauren was born in Los Angeles, California and currently living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Lauren is an author, speaker, former radio host and acclaimed publisher.

Ms. Lane studied Law in Ventura, California and was nominated during her Career as 'Business Woman of the Year'. She is an avid reader, loves nature and has a passion for niche marketing.

Ms. Lane has been published throughout her career, and has assisted fortune 500 companies with their marketing, business strategies and media campaigns.

For 15 years she headed up the largest publishing company in the Rocky Mountain region, consulting for companies such as ReMax International, Wells Fargo Bank, and Coors, to name a few.

Her new book "Victim or Volunteer" (launching in spring of 2013) and her reprint of the book that inspired her and woke her up to her freedoms as an American, will be offered exclusively at, beginning March, 31st, 2013.

Ms. Lane is mom to four grown children and has eight wonderful grandchildren scattered throughout the United States living in Texas, Virginia, and Utah.

With a love of traveling, she says much of her inspiration came from a trip to Dublin and Dingle, Ireland with her then 16 year old son, and a real passion awoke, when her oldest son shared his experiences after serving his country and coming back from Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan.

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Lying happens for a variety of reasons. We lie because we are scared. We think the truth will "hurt someone's feelings" or it might cause someone pain. We call that a "good lie"-we believe it is always for the other persons own good and in their best interest.