CICADAS ARE MORE INTELLIGENT THAN CONGRESS CRITTERS
From North Georgia to upstate New York, billions of red-eyed cicadas from what scientists call the Brood II swarm (also known as magiicadas) are emerging from the earth to campaign for the affection of their own kind. Many Congressmen (who a client of mine refers to as “Congress critters”) also often come out of nowhere to campaign for the affection of their own kind.
A brief comparison between cicadas and Congress critters will prove that of the two cicadas are the more intelligent, dependable, and beneficial life forms.
Cicadas have enough common sense to remain hidden from view for 17 years before emerging to campaign for the affection of others. Not so with most Congress critters who campaign incessantly, pleading on the hour every hour for more money and support from the moment they are elected until the moment they are re-elected or defeated, in one endless round.
Cicadas campaign on a simple platform of procreation, and they amply deliver on what they promise (six hundred or more eggs from each cicada couple). Not so with most Congress critters, who promise a government cure for every ill and then rarely deliver on a single promise.
Cicadas make a lot of loud noise, racket if you will, just like most Congress critters, but cicadas have enough common sense to do so only for 30 days. Not so with Congress critters who loudly complain all the time, rarely ceasing unless they fail to win re-election (although even then some, like Anthony Weiner, never shut up).
Cicadas are largely harmless (unless your dog or cat eats a lot of them). Congress critters, by contrast, are very costly; indeed, they bankrupt the nation and pillage the savings of every American. Moreover, if a dog or cat tries to eat a cicada, the dog or cat will most often succeed in doing so. Not so if a dog or cat tries to eat a Congress critter, because Congress critters (unlike cicadas) bite back savagely and ordinarily will have the offending pet put down (unless owned by a primary contributor to the Congress critter’s campaign).
Cicadas have wings and enough sense to fly off if they offend. Not so with Congress critters. In fact, the less you want to be around a Congress critter, the more robocalls, constituent emails, and mail you will receive from him or her.
A red-eyed cicada is normal to find and is sober. A red-eyed Congress critter is also normal to find but is intoxicated.
In a recent article on cicadas, AP science writer Seth Borenstein quoted University of Maryland entomologist Mike Paupp as saying of cicadas, “these guys are geniuses with little tiny brains.” The opposite is true of most Congress critters. They are ignoramuses with big fat heads.
If you line up every cicada head to tail, the Brood II swarm would reach to the moon and back. If you line up every Congress critter head to tail, they would be getting what they deserve but would fail to reach outside the beltway, let alone the moon and back.
Cicadas abide by fixed biological principles, transforming themselves from larvae into winged insects along a very predictable path, but Congress critters rarely have any fixed principles and are anything but predictable, willing to say or do whatever is necessary to win re-election.
Cicadas are brave and survive by fending for themselves. Not so most Congress critters who are feckless and survive by paying themselves handsome salaries at taxpayers’ expense.
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Cicadas manage threats to their health with self-reliance. Not so most Congress critters who subsidize their health insurance with tax dollars and exempt themselves from Obamacare so that they do not have to cope with the costs, burdens, and sacrifices required by Obamacare from the rest of us.
Finally, cicadas are loyal to their own kind and do not sacrifice their fellow creatures to get ahead. Not so most Congress critters who will throw their own grandmothers under the bus and sell the nation down the river to advance their own interests.
Based on the foregoing irrefutable evidence, the incontrovertible conclusion is that cicadas are more intelligent, dependable, and beneficial life forms than Congress critters.
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