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By Lee Duigon
May 25, 2011

There are so many appalling news stories, these days, you can hardly decide which one to stop and stare at. But my jaw drops at the protest against Ronald McDonald as an enemy of the people.

Forget the woman who murdered her baby by sticking in the microwave. Ignore the enthroned simpleton who thinks he can reduce gasoline prices by increasing the oil companies’ cost of doing business. Pay no heed to Conan the Destroyer of His Own Family and Career. As eye-popping as those stories are, the real threat to civilization is Ronald McDonald—perhaps the only clown left in America who is not involved in politics.

Since 1963, as some would have it, Ronald has been tricking America’s children into being obese. A group called Corporate Accountability International is leading the drive to force the clown to walk the plank.

Does that name evoke the smell of rotting rat? Or have we just caught a whiff of a can of worms that stinks when you open it?

As always, our idle, good-for-nothing news media hopped right onto the story without doing any work, never for a moment pausing to ask, “Who are these guys?”

“Corporate Accountability International” is not your friendly neighborhood do-gooder. It is a huge, powerful group of left-wing activists who seem to think that “corporations”—a term which they never bother to define, and to which they attach the most sinister connotations—are the root of all the evil in this world. The group hobnobs with U.N. delegations and has won major face-offs against General Electric, the tobacco companies, and others. A visit to their website, is most instructive.

Here we find proposed “Standards of Political Conduct for Corporations,” profound slogans like “Politics for People, Not Profits,” and deep philosophy like this: “To build a better world, regulators and policymakers must be free to protect people and the environment without business interference.” Nations are urged to restrict corporations’ ability to lobby, and to make it illegal for corporations to contribute money to political campaigns.

Suddenly Ronald McDonald seems a lot less threatening than he did a few minutes ago.

Calling in Big Government and the United Nations to protect us from “corporations”—whatever they are!—is like hiring Dracula to protect you from mosquitoes. Greedy businessmen have their own sins to answer for, but they can’t even come close to matching the crimes of the modern, secular humanist state. It took Mao Tse-tung only four years to murder some 40 million of his countrymen. Ronald McDonald can’t even be a batboy in that league.

But everything that’s wrong with the world—at least according to Corporate Accountability International, is the work of “corporations,” whatever they are. Global Warming? Corporate profits did it! Dictators machine-gunning their own people in the streets? Some naughty “corporation” sold him the bullets! Thank heaven—or should we be thanking Hell instead?—that we have Corporate Accountability International to “protect democracy… from abuse by transnational corporations.” They don’t bother to define “democracy,” either. Does it have something to do with “social justice,” and locking up anyone who doesn’t love Big Brother?

They don’t have a problem with unions buying politicians, and politicians buying unions, and paying for it all with other people’s money. They don’t object to “climate change scientists” tampering with data to “hide the decline,” and incidentally raking in boxcar-loads of grant money—other people’s money, again—for themselves. And what international communist busybody would ever demand “accountability” from globalist government big shots who rape chambermaids?

Whatever else you might say about “corporations,” they do provide people with real jobs, by which they raise their standard of living. What kind of a world would it be if no one were allowed to make a profit? Is it an accident that where capitalism goes, prosperity follows in its train? Can we say the same for socialism? Not without gagging on it! Has any country ever been made more prosperous by hamstringing the business community?

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McDonald’s Corporation never built a concentration camp. Ronald McDonald never had a journalist shot for criticizing him. But cruelty is mother’s milk to “regulators and policymakers” representing a messianic state that puts a stranglehold on the nation’s economic life and condemns the people to intractable poverty. But of course the state only does these things “to build a better world” and “to protect democracy.” And I am the Cardiff Giant.

This all-powerful, all-smothering state, whose minions labor to morph it into a global government, is the Satanist substitute for the Kingdom of Christ. Only a fool would believe its promise to create a heaven on earth. Godless people will naturally be drawn to it.

� 2011 Lee Duigon - All Rights Reserved

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Lee Duigon, a contributing editor with the Chalcedon Foundation, is a former newspaper reporter and editor, small businessman, teacher, and horror novelist. He has been married to his wife, Patricia, for 34 years. See his new fantasy/adventure novels, Bell Mountain and The Cellar Beneath the Cellar, available on


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Since 1963, as some would have it, Ronald has been tricking America’s children into being obese. A group called Corporate Accountability International is leading the drive to force the clown to walk the plank.